Addendium to last post
I guess I should make a small explanation on that last post, since this is my office blog. It’s not work that is overwhelming me, it’s life in general. I was just starting to think that I was going to be able to relax and save my sanity when here comes a call from a sibling – mortgage company is taking house help!
:::pounds head on desk::: I’m going to go completely insane, I swear I am. At the moment I am getting by day to day on a promise to myself I will mourn for my mother someday down the road when my father passes on, mourning them both together at that time, and until that day comes I am pretty much telling myself that she is just on a trip down to the lower 48 or asleep in the bedroom, or in town or a million other reasons I can devise for why she is not here, with me.
It does not help that I loaned her cellular phone to one of my nephews until he can get his own phone, so now every once in a while my phone shows a call from “Mom”. I can’t bring myself to change the listing on the caller ID, but I am about this close to either buying him his own phone or going flat out insane.
Writing, as always, keeps me somewhat sane. It is my lifeline, a focus that I can drop into and lose myself. My mom understood that. She encouraged my writing and was so very proud of my skill to earn money from writing. I miss my desktop computer, but with any luck it will be back home with me very soon. Of course, it will be without the added multi-monitor card I wanted in it. Even if HP does call and can put one in for me, I can no longer afford it because I am sending that money and whatever else I had scrapped together to my sibling to pay their mortgage payment.
So, that’s why my head is feeling like it’s so far under and someone keeps toying with the snorkel. It’s not work, it’s…. well, lack of work I suppose, trying to find things to work on and focus and keep from thinking about life.