I have not made it back here for some time due to a personal loss in the family. On September 14th my mom died of heart failure at Providence Hospital in Anchorage. It was a hard blow to everyone in my family.
My mom had not had any history of heart problems before, so the heart attack was not something anyone could have anticipated. Even when I took her into the ER the nurses at the ER counter doubted it was actually a heart attack and rather than send someone out to check her had me get a wheelchair and bring her inside, then they told me to wait while thy took her in the back and got her ready for a doctor to see.
The next thing I know about 20 minutes had passed and the nurse wanted me or my sister to go in the back because they were having trouble getting coherent information from my mom, then a few minutes later the doctor realized that we were right, she was having a heart attack.
I don’t know if things had moved faster or not if it would have made any difference, I know that it can not change things now to drive myself insane wondering if things had been different at that time. I want my mom back, and nothing will bring her back, so now all I can do is my best to sort things out and get started on rebuilding and find some way to meet the bills every month.
Which means I need to get back to work – no matter how much I want to just curl up and cry. I need to be strong for the others in my family and find a way to make things go forward from here. Me and mom had always said that we were the strong ones, so now I have to be the strong one and find some way to keep things moving forward.
